The Trail of Bertie Bott Beans
by CryptidGrimnoir137
Summary: Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, the finest school in the world. No better place to study magic. But nobody ever told Hugo Weasley how easy it was to get lost at Hogwarts. How did that Muggle fairy tale go again? The one with the breadcrumbs? Post-canon, epilogue-compliant. Family-centric.


**The Trail of Bertie Bott Beans**

Breakfasts in the Great Hall of Hogwarts are not so grand as the feasts, but the food, lovingly prepared by house elves, was still a highlight that could brighten any day. Sausages and scrambled eggs and poached eggs and bacon and apples and pears and toast with jam and fried bread and oatcakes and baked beans. Unfortunately, the hour allotted for eating before classes began had nearly ended when a tall first-year with a mass of unruly hair and freckles burst in and darted to the Gryffindor table, where one Lily Luna Potter was spooning food onto an extra plate.

Hugo Weasley scarfed down as much of his breakfast as he could and looked down at the schedule his cousin Lily handed him. The bit of sausage fell off his fork, and dread filled his insides.

Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms, History of Magic…

"Oh no," Hugo moaned. "This is awful!"

"We've started Hogwarts!" Lily gasped. "How can you say such a thing? It's absolutely wonderful here!"

Hogwarts was wonderful, there was no denying that. Hugo had certainly heard the stories: from his parents, Granddad and Gram Weasley, Uncle Harry and Aunt Ginny, Uncle George, Uncle Bill, Uncle Percy, Uncle Charlie, Uncle Nev—er, Professor Longbottom, Hagrid…

But not one of his family members had mentioned how easy it was to get _lost _in the castle. It had taken Hugo almost fifty minutes to get all the way down to the Great Hall from Gryffindor Tower. He had taken four different wrong turns, two staircases moved away from where he had been trying to reach, and the secret passage he had found brought him back up three flights of stairs.

"Lily, all these classes are in wildly different areas of the castle. It'll take us forever to find them."

Lily shook her little head, her red pigtails bobbing up and down. "But it's Hogwarts, Hugo! This is the greatest place in the whole wide world!"

That may be the case, but now breakfast was almost over, and Hugo hadn't had the chance to enjoy any of it, and his schedule would only make him _more_ lost. And he'd be late for the classes and get points taken away from Gryffindor and then the professors would all be upset. And he'd probably miss lunch entirely!

"If you're so worried about getting lost, Hugo, then why not get a map?"

"You know James nicked the Marauder's Map from your dad's office!"

"Not the Marauder's Map, you prat! It wouldn't work anyway—James doesn't know what the password to make it work is, and Uncle George and Daddy won't tell him." Lily was still bouncing up and down. "But we just need a regular old map-map."

"And where would we get a map-map? Which we need, today!"

"I think Uncle Neville might have one we can use—he said he had lots of trouble remembering things when he was a first year too."

"You know Mum says we're to call him Professor Longbottom in class."

Lily shrugged. "Class doesn't start for another four minutes. He's still Uncle Neville till then, no matter what Aunt Hermione says."

"Well, the map worked," Lily smiled hopefully. "It was a good idea."

"Oh, the idea was fine, we just forgot the bloody poltergeist."

Hugo wished he knew better swear words. Peeves was flying above them, one corridor away from the Transfiguration class they had just left, tearing the map Professor Longbottom had happily given them into pieces.

"Humongo Hugo and Little Lily, losty-wosty," Peeves sang. "It'll mean trouble, oh yes it will."

"Peeves!" Hugo pulled his wand and wincing—it was only the first day, so he hadn't learned any jinxes. "Beat it! Go away!"

Peeves sneered and jeered and then Hugo gave a rude hand gesture that he would never have dared to do in front of his parents or Gran Weasley. Peeves cackled and flew away.

"Don't you dare say I shouldn't have done that," Hugo growled. "We're going to be late for Charms."

"And you're not _humungo_, Hugo." Lily frowned. "You're just really tall—taller than me, at least."

"If you're trying to make me feel better, it's not working."

"You're taller than Rose. That's something right, taller than your big sister before you're a grown-up? I'd love to be taller than my big brothers."

That _was_ something Hugo took pride in—Rose was smarter than him, having inherited their mother's brains. But he'd been able to out-wrestle and out-rough-house her by the time he was six years old to her eight; teasing Rose was actually one of his hobbies. Hugo would take his victories where he could get them—and making Rose scream until she was red in the face was one of them.

Rose…Rose Red…Rose Red and Snow White…Snow White…Rapunzel…wait a moment…that was it!

Professor Flitwick was a very understanding wizard, and hadn't even given them a warning when Hugo and Lily burst into his classroom four minutes and twelve seconds late (Apparently one of the girls in Lily's dormitory liked counting things).

But Hugo still felt bad about the whole thing. He didn't like interrupting people at home—an odd trait, given who his parents were and how much they seemed to enjoy it—and doing it at Hogwarts was even worse.

Thus, the new plan.

"A trail of Every Flavored Bean?" Lily looked curious. "You want to mark the path?"

"Yes, it'll be easier than trying to memorize the layout or find another map. I don't want to have to ask Professor Longbottom for a new one, thus the Beans."

"Where'd you ever get such a good idea?" Lily asked. "I've never heard of such a thing."

"It was in one of the storybooks Grandfather and Grandmother gave me. It's from _Hansel and Gretel_."

"One of the Muggle stories?"

"Yes, Hansel and Gretel leave a trail of breadcrumbs to find their way home when they go into the woods to collect a cow to trade for a goose that lays golden eggs."

"Oh…that sounds…different."

Okay, maybe that wasn't _quite _how the fairy tale went, but Hugo hadn't really been paying much attention to Grandmother Granger reading the story. He and Rose had both been sick with the flu and he had never gone back to reread it.

"It'll work. All the Muggle stories have happy endings. It's a rule." '

"Great, so what beans will mark the trail?"

Hugo grinned. It wasn't often that he had the good ideas. "I have all sorts—these red ones will mark a trail from Gryffindor Tower to the Great Hall."

"Oooh, are they cinnamon?"

"Lily, they're _Every Flavor Beans_. Cinnamon, cherry, red bell pepper, red velvet cake, tomato, hey—they're not for eating!"

"Blegh! Red cabbage?!" Lily spat the candy out. "Why do i always get the bad flavors?"

"Give those back!" Hugo yanked the beans out of his cousin's hand. "C'mon Lily, this will be perfect. We'll set them along the corridors! Then, we just follow the path and we won't ever get lost again."

"Sounds brilliant!" Lily blinked rapidly. "This will work!"

It didn't.

"Auggggh!" Hugo shouted in despair. "What happened to the red beans?!"

"Or the blue ones, that led to Charms?" Lily looked close to tears.

"Or the green ones, that led to Herbology? We're gonna be late again!"

They were on a landing of…the fourth floor? No, was it the fifth? There was a very strangely colored wall, like it had been a tapestry that had been turned to stone. And there was a suit of armor holding a long sword….but there were hundreds of suits of armor at Hogwarts.

"Rose! We can find Rose!" Lily began bouncing again, her braids bopping up and down. "She'll know what to do!"

Hugo grimaced. He didn't want to have to be rescued by his big sister (who he was bigger than, but that wasn't really the point).

"Why Rose? Why not Albus? He's your brother!"

"Albus can't help—he has no sense of direction!"

"Oh, so in your family, it's genetic?!"

"It's your family too, Hug-ee!"

"We only share half of it! And don't call me Hug-ee, Loony!"

There was a _clang _of metal hitting stone as the suit of armor dropped its sword and placed its hands to its head, as if covering its ears. Lily and Hugo didn't notice.

"I'm telling Mum you said that!"

"Well, I'm telling _my _mum you called me Hug-ee! And you're not helping us "

"Hey, it wasn't my idea to use Bertie Bott Beans to mark the paths!"

"You didn't have any ideas at all!"

"But I didn't have any stupid ideas—how'd that stupid Muggle fairy tale end anyhow?"

"I…don't really remember."

"I reckon Rose would remember!"

"I'm not talking to you!"

"I'm not talking to _you_!"

"Fine!"

"_Fine!_"

They glared at each other and then turned their backs to each other, staring at separate walls. The suit of armor turned to stare at a third wall. Hugo resolved he would never ever talk to Lily ever again ever. No way, no way, no way.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?!"

_"__Langauge!_"

Hugo turned around. His big sister (really, she was like three inches shorter than him) was glaring at him. Her flaming red hair seemed to enhance her anger, but Hugo wasn't afraid of his sister. Anymore. There was a thick smudge of dirt on Rose's nose and twigs in her hair. She must have come from Herbology. Which Hugo and Lily were now late for.

Standing next to her was Scorpius Malfoy, tall and lean and blond hair trimmed neatly, with nary a trace of dirt or twig.

"Don't tell me not to swear, Scorpius." Rose said sternly.

"But you were doing so well—you hadn't said a bad word in three days!"

"How long have you been standing there, Rose?"

"An hour."

"What?!"

"We've only been here a couple of minutes," Scorpius interrupted, lifting his hands. "Everyone, please calm down and we can talk about this quietly."

"What are you two doing here?"

"We got lost, because your baby brother is a stupid prat!"

"Don't call him stupid," Rose said sharply. "Only I get to do that. Be specific—what did he do?"

"He left us a trail of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans to follow, but they're all gone now!"

"House elves probably cleaned them up overnight," Scorpius said thoughtfully. "Not a bad idea to use markers, though I'd have picked something more permanent. Where'd you get the idea anyhow?"

"Hugo got it from a stupid Muggle fairy tale."

"Oh, _Hansel and Gretel_?" Rose brightened. "He loved that one as a baby…but he always fell asleep halfway through."

"I'm not a baby!" Hugo shouted. "I'm bigger than either of you!"

"You'll always be my baby brother," Rose's tone turned almost sickeningly affectionate. "No matter how much bigger than me you get."

"Oh, come off it!"

"You come off it," Rose put her hands on her hips, and the resemblance to Gram Weasley was suddenly striking. "I'm your big sister—watching out for you is my job."

"Well, you aren't doing a very good job!"

"I can't be everywhere at once, Hugo!"

"Ahhh!" Scorpius ran in between them, his wand out at the ready. "Please don't hurt each other!"

Rose flicked a finger in Scorpius's chest and drew her own wand.

"I have no intentions of hurting him! You, however, I am still making my mind up about."

"I…er, I didn't mean, I only meant…you three are family after all and well, er…" Scorpius stammered weakly.

"You really want to test me?" Rose threatened. Wait a moment…that wasn't her _threatening _voice—the kind she used to . That sounded more like her voice when she and Albus would play Exploding Snap. Or the occasions

She was _taunting _Scorpius?

"Malfoy," Hugo called out. "For what it's worth, Rose's knees are her weak spot."

"You, be quiet!" Rose yelped, a glimmer of panic in her eyes, her face reddening. "Don't even _think _about it, Malfoy!"

"I wouldn't, I wouldn't, I wouldn't." Scorpius shook his head rapidly. "Be nice to each other, please!"

"Rose!" Lily squealed. "Don't! You have to be nice to your boyfriend!"

Scorpius's eyes bulged and Rose's face turned redder than ever. It looked as if they had been caught doing something they had meant to keep a secret.

"Uhh…er…ah…um…er…."

"He's _not _my boyfriend!"

"If you say so," Lily grinned. "Rose, dear cousin, could you please, please, please help us find our way back to our classroom. We're late for Herbology."

"Oh, is that all?" Rose giggled. "You must not have heard—Uncle Nev—"

"Professor Longbottom!" Scorpius interrupted in a tired voice.

"_Professor Longbottom_," Rose rolled her eyes. "Whatever. He says that the Venomous Tentacula is teething and that it needs careful pruning and…" Her tone grew more mischievous, "that students aren't allowed to help unless they're N.E.W.T.-level. Consequentially, classes are canceled for the rest of the day."

"We won't get in trouble?! Yay!"

"Malfoy and I have a free period now too, I reckon I might as well make sure you two stop getting lost."

"You will?!"

"I'm a Hufflepuff aren't I?" Rose grinned in a _very _un-Hufflepuff fashion. "We're naturally good finders—which includes secret passages that aren't on the Marauder's Map."

"Thanks Rose…really, thank you." Hugo hugged his sister and then let go very quickly.

Rose stood on tiptoe and ruffled his hair. Hugo wondered how much longer it'd be before he was tall enough she wasn't able to do that. She tugged Lily's braid loosely. "For you, a thousand times over. Keep up now."

Rose turned on her heel and trotted down the corridor, towards the staircase, Hugo and Lily at her heels.

Scorpius turned to the suit of armor, completely baffled. "They went from fighting to hugging in less than three minutes. Has the whole world gone mad, or is it just me?"

The suit of armor shrugged and patted him on the shoulder.

"Mental, they're all mental…"

"Scorpius!" Rose called. "Don't dally—I want to help the little ones with the passage to the dungeons for Slughorn's classes before lunch."

"Mental," Scorpius muttered as he ran to catch up. "They're absolutely mental…why am I following them?"

Fin.


End file.
